When I ask someone in coaching what they want, the answer is often about money: more income, a savings cushion, being able to leave a job. That's a completely legitimate wish. The problem is that money on its own rarely pulls us forward for long.
Money is a means, not a value
Money doesn't give us anything by itself. It's a means to get to something else: freedom, security, time with family, peace, independence, adventure. Those states are our values, and they are what really moves us.
When you know which value sits behind your financial goal, the goal suddenly has energy. "I want 1,000 euros more a month" is a number. "I want to stop worrying at the end of every month and have time for my children" is a life you can picture and feel.
Find your values in 15 minutes
Take a piece of paper:
- Write down ten values that matter to you, as words for states or feelings: freedom, security, love, closeness, independence, health, growth…
- Cross out the three you could live without most easily. Then three more.
- From the four that remain, choose the most important one, then put the other three in order.
- Now look at money through that list: what do you actually want money for?
Money itself doesn't belong on the list. It's the road, not the destination.
When values pull in different directions
This is where many people get stuck without knowing why. If security is your top value, and at the same time you want to earn much more, you'll probably feel resistance. Growth almost always asks you to risk some security: leave a stable job, invest, raise your price, try something new.
It isn't that one value is right and the other wrong. It's about seeing the conflict clearly, so you can make a conscious choice instead of going round in circles.
A goal you can see, hear and feel
A goal works best when it's described as if it's already happening:
- In the present tense and in positive words. Not "I'm no longer in debt", but "I pay my bills calmly and have savings for three months."
- Through the senses. What do you see around you when the goal is reached? What do you hear, who is with you, how does your body feel?
- With a meaning. What is different in your life, and which value are you living?
The clearer the picture, the easier it is to recognise the steps that lead to it.
At least three ways to get there
From where you stand today, write down at least three different ways to reach the goal. A new source of income, a change of price, a new skill, a different job, a partnership. When we see only one way, every obstacle feels like the end. With three, an obstacle is just a turn.
Then ask the question that moves things: what concretely will I do this week?
Why coaching helps here
Most of us can do these exercises alone. The difficulty starts when an old belief speaks up ("I'm not good with money", "it's not for people like me"), when values collide, or when the plan stays on paper. In coaching we clarify what you really want, examine the beliefs that hold you back, and turn the goal into steps you actually take, with someone who keeps you accountable.
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